Hundreds of armed men stormed the government building. Shouts of joy and exclamation echoed the hallways with phrases such as “for the glory of God!” and “God wills it!” reverberating.
A spokesman for the militia members shared why they were there. “For too long, this country has been run amok by leftists and liberals who have no idea what they are doing. They have turned this beautiful country, a country that belongs to God, into a cesspool of corruption. We are doing the will of God.”
As he was speaking, another militia member walked by shouting, “DRAIN THE SWAMP” as others cheered in adulation.
Speaking to another militia member, he shared his concerns about the illegitimacy of the government. “Did I vote for this president? No, I did not. Many people who voted should not have the right to vote and the whole thing is a scam.”
Another man standing nearby with a large assault rifle shared his thoughts. “The gender politics that the liberals have been trying to use got me involved in this movement. And when I realized how much foreigners are ruining our country, I knew I needed to defend our way of life.”
Speaking to the spokesman again, he shared his concern with the misportrayal by media. “There has been so much fake news out there. People think that we are against equality for women, but I have a wife and daughters too. I’m not a monster. We just all want to raise our families with the traditional family values taught to us by our Holy Scriptures.” When asked about others who interpret the Scriptures differently, there was a simple response: “heretics.”
Holding up a cell phone and smashing it to the ground, the spokesman illustrated a crucial point for the movement. “This technology and liberal values have distorted our children. They have been seeking to silence us for too long, but we have now spoken. We are bringing law and order. We will drive out all the foreigners who are trying to destroy our way of life, by the will of God. #MakeAfghanistanGreatAgain!”